Conflicts between colleagues are part of working life \u2013 even if no one wishes for them. They rarely escalate loudly. Far more often they creep in: a growing tension here, an avoided conversation there, until two people simply can no longer work together. At our event on 28 May 2026, we got to experience conflict training firsthand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Conflicts between colleagues can take many forms. A classic example: \"I can no longer work with this person because they don't do their job well.\" This statement sounds clear-cut \u2013 but it isn't. Because it describes a subjective perception, not a verifiable fact. And this is exactly where a common mistake begins: perceptions are treated as facts. That creates polarisation before the conversation has even started. Good conflict mediation begins with a different fundamental question: not \"Who is right?\" but \"What do you \u2013 and we as an organisation \u2013 need in order to make collaboration possible again?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Behind accusations there are almost always needs that feel (or are perceived to be) under threat: being heard, experiencing fairness, gaining clarity about exp\u2026Behind accusations there are almost always needs that feel (or are perceived to be) under threat: being heard, experiencing fairness, gaining clarity about expectations. Those who understand this can mediate rather than judge. The shared goal must be realistic. It is not about two people liking each other \u2013 it is about them being able to work together again. This distinction matters. And it takes the pressure off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Anyone who enters a mediation conversation without having been heard first brings a full emotional load with them \u2013 and releases it at the wrong moment. Individual conversations are what make people ready to talk at all. They create the space needed for someone to be willing to open up. At the same time, they give the mediator important orientation: where are the real wounds? What is negotiable, and what is not? Key questions for these conversations:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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The answers to these questions determine how the joint conversation should be structured \u2013 and whether the time for it is even right yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The setting has a strong influence on emotional safety: equal footing, a neutral atmosphere, clear ground rules. And the mediating person is not neutral \u2013 they are impartial. That means: keeping both sides equally in view, acknowledging emotions without taking sides \u2013 and still providing structure and direction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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One of the most valuable insights from the training was the framing of conflicts through the SCARF model. Developed by neuroscientist David Rock, it describes five core needs that drive human behaviour in social contexts: Status (how I am perceived relative to others), Certainty (predictability and security), Autonomy (the sense of having influence), Relatedness (belonging and trust) and Fairness (the experience of being treated justly). Conflicts escalate when several of these needs are threatened simultaneously \u2013 and that is precisely why addressing the factual level alone is so often ineffective. Good mediation therefore does not only address content: it creates emotional safety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Managers should not automatically mediate conflicts themselves \u2013 they often lack the necessary impartiality. Many are conflict-averse, not out of disinterest, but out of uncertainty. HR can provide support here: through training, early intervention and a clear understanding of roles. And HR should not only be brought in as a last resort. Early involvement \u2013 when escalation is looming, power imbalances exist, or legal risks are at play \u2013 preserves room to act before it is lost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Conflict mediation is not a one-off conversation, but a process. It requires commitment: documenting agreements in writing, clarifying responsibilities, scheduling check-ins. And it requires patience \u2013 because trust that has eroded over months does not rebuild in a single conversation. What this training made clear once again: it is not necessarily about people liking each other. It is about being able to work together professionally, respectfully and reliably. That is achievable \u2013 if everyone involved is willing to invest genuine energy in making it happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many thanks to Katharina Yombi for her expert guidance and to everyone who attended and made this exchange so lively.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Wenn zwei nicht mehr miteinander k\u00f6nnen.
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